Temuera, a Southern bull elephant seal on Campbell Island, has been defeated in the battles with other bulls, and has lost his harem of cows, along with his title of Beachmaster. He swims north and travels along New Zealand's coastline. When he reaches Gisborne, he blunders up the city's main boat ramp into the car park. Three tonne seals usually do as they please and it pleases Temuera to stay in the car park until he has finished moulting. He decides the car park is an excellent territory and sets out to challenge anything close to his size. He crushes every vehicle in the car park, bar one. Having dispensed with all potential rivals, Temuera lets out a deafening roar and proclaims his status as Beachmaster. Then he turns his attention to the Morris Minor in the corner of the carpark. To Temuera, the car looks like a potential mate. He is smitten! The courtship continues over several months before Temuera's moulting is complete. When the time comes for Temuera to return to the ocean, he tries to persuade the Morris Minor to come with him. But all his attempts at wooing are in vain!
This humorous story is based on true events. First publishd June 2006.
